Back in business and on a roll

I'm back on the internet and back in the kitchen.  I feel like Freddie Mercury dancing around, singing, "Don't stop me now!"

First of all, check out this awesome present I got from my sweet husband:

28 pieces of Pyrexy goodness

He ordered it online, and it arrived at my parents' house the same day I did.  One of the pieces shattered in delivery, but it appears it was faulty packaging.  I didn't want to take the chance of sending the whole thing back and getting another broken piece, so I opted for a partial refund.  Now I have a 27 piece set! I used nine of the pieces last night, on a whim, to make something I've been craving for weeks. I found a recipe online that looked good, but it was vegan.  I'm still not vegan.  I have no interest in going vegan ever again.  Once I started changing the vegan items for others, I started playing around more and more with the ingredients until it barely resembled where it started.  I think I must have said "Well, it's an experiment anyway!" and "Oh, I hope this turns out well!" about 50 times as I was making it!

While they're not the same as cinnamon rolls, these guys acted as my main inspiration:

And, yes, I do mean the ones that come in the plastic.

I remember eating these bad boys with my dad.  I don't think I have ever just taken a bite out of one.  I always had to peel it apart, layer by layer, until I got to the softest, most cinnamony part of the center. I don't even know if pecan swirls actually have pecans in them because that's sure not in my memory.  All I know is that, as I started to work on my dough in the kitchen last night with my father as my assistant, I couldn't wait to pull apart some pastry.

Pecan Cinnamon Rolls

Ooey Gooey

Ingredients

For the filling:
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
1/4 cup honey powder (if you don't have honey powder, substitute more brown sugar)
3 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 cup pecans, chopped and divided
dash of salt
1 tablespoon butter, melted

For the dough:
2 1/2 cup Bob's Red Mill gluten-free all purpose flour (if you mix your own, go for brown rice, tapioca, and potato starch)
3/4 cup sorghum flour
2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 3/4 teaspoon xantham gum
1 1/2 cups buttermilk (I used 2 teaspoon apple cider vinegar and filled the measuring cup up to 1 1/2 cups with plain milk -- I thought the lemon might be too sour in the dough -- and let it sit for about 5 minutes), divided
7 tablespoons butter, divided and melted
Spray or extra butter for pan

For the icing:
3 tablespoons cream cheese
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
3/4 cup icing sugar
Half of the chopped pecans from the filling mix
3 tablespoons buttermilk (from the dough division)

Hardware
Large mixing bowl
Two small mixing bowls
Three small reserve bowls (milk, flour, butter)
Bowl or pan for melting butter
Pie dish or other round baking dish
Wooden spoon
Measuring cups and spoons
Oven
Microwave or stove for melting butter and heating milk
Whisk
Knife, spoon, and fork
Parchment paper, cling film, or Press 'N Seal Wrap (worked for me!)

Directions:
Depending on how fast or slow you are in the kitchen, you can go ahead and preheat the oven to 425°F/220°C. I waited to start until I was kneading the dough to preheat because I'm slow.

Go ahead and measure out your vinegar and milk, if you don't use buttermilk, and let it rest to the side.

For the filling, combine the brown sugar, white sugar, honey powder, cinnamon, half of the chopped pecans (1/8 cup or so), and salt in a small mixing bowl.  Stir together with a fork.  When you are sure it is combined, stir in 1 tablespoon melted butter.  When well-combined, it should look like wet sand.  Set aside.

Start on your dough by combining the all purpose flour and sorghum in the large bowl.  Measure out about 1/2 cup and put in a reserve bowl to the side.  Back in the big bowl, add in baking powder, baking soda, and xantham gum and stir with the wooden spoon.

Reserve 1/4 cup of the milk mixture in a bowl and set aside.  Heat the remaining milk mixture in the microwave or on the stove.  You DO NOT want it boiling or steaming hot.  You only want it warm.  Slowly mix 3 tablespoons of melted butter into the warm milk.  Because the milk is warm, the butter should not curdle the milk and the milk should not congeal the butter back into solids.  Add the milk/butter mixture into the large mixing bowl, stir a few times, and add 2 1/2 more tablespoons of melted butter into the mix.  Stir with the wooden spoon until you can feel resistance and cannot see any lumps of flour (about 45 seconds for me).

Put down a layer of whatever paper you choose for your work surface. I used Press 'N Seal wrap because it could "stick" to the surface and was thick enough that I could use it as a tool.  If you do use Press 'N Seal, just make sure that the adhering side is DOWN; the smoother side should be facing up toward you.

Sprinkle about 3/4 of the reserved flour on the surface and dump your dough on top.  Yes, it is a lot of flour.  Yes, you will need it all. Begin working the dough with your hands and kneading in all the flour.  It will be very sticky, and you will probably think you've done something wrong.  Keep going!  Once you have integrated all the flour and you're starting to notice it looking like a real dough, sprinkle the rest of the flour onto it and knead into the dough.

Once you have it all looking nice and like it might have a promising future as a pastry, spread or roll it out into a 10"x12" rectangle.  If you want a lot of swirl with thinner sides, spread it a bit further than 10 inches, but maintain the 12 inch side. Take 1 tablespoon melted butter (if you're doing the math, you should have 1/2 tablespoon left!) and spread it over the middle of the dough, all the way to the edges. Go back and get your filling mixture you made earlier and cover all but the very edges of the dough with it.  There is a lot.  I like it that way.  If you want a higher pastry to cinnamon ratio, use a bit less.  But, then, if you don't like cinnamon, why are you making cinnamon rolls?

Now for the fun part.  It's where I found the Press 'N Seal saved the day.  I literally lifted the front and used it to roll the dough over on to itself.  If you are using a different surface, it may do the same thing. If your dough wants to stick, you might need a metal spatula to pry it up.  Once you have the first roll, lightly press down -- you don't want to mash it into the other side, but you do want it to know where it belongs.  Continuing rolling until you have a log.  If the dough splits open at the end, patch it up.  If it's in the middle, it probably won't matter.  Cut the log into eight 1 1/2" slices -- I actually cut some of mine thinner and thicker to make some crispy and some smooshy.  It's up to you.  Arrange them in a circle around the pie dish, and then squish some in the middle, too.  Press down with your palm to spread them out enough to touch.  Brush with the remaining 1/2 tablespoon of melted butter.

Bake for 24-25 minutes, but, as always, check on them before the timer goes.  You don't want your hard work to burn because your oven is different than mine!

While they bake, mix up the icing. Whisk together the cream cheese, cinnamon, icing sugar, and buttermilk until it is combined.  I never remember to sift the icing sugar, so it took a little elbow grease to get the lumps out.  Stir in the chopped pecans.

When the rolls are done, let them sit for five minutes before icing them.  Use a spoon to drizzle as much or as little icing as you want. Do not, however, let your mother dunk her finger into the icing bowl. I would pour the whole bowl of icing over her cinnamon roll before I would let that happen!

Oh, and these guys are great the next day.  Store them in the fridge and pop one in the microwave for about 25 seconds to get it soft and warm again.  They are almost just as good.  Trust me, I just did it.

You can let your mother scrape up some of the cinnamon meltiness
at the bottom of the pan.  She'll probably do it whether you allow it or not.

Gluten-free facts, part 2

1.  When you first stop eating gluten, your body will be very confused.  You will likely get hungry all the time.  My suggestion is, for the first week or so (listen to your body!), really up your protein intake.  Don't immediately move to gluten-free substitutions unless you have to because your body will grab hold of them and immediately slow down its processing.  I carried around turkey jerky in my handbag.  Yes, it was super-classy.

2.  Your energy levels will probably hit an all-time low for the first couple of days after leaving behind gluten.  I don't suggest moving to a gluten-free diet when you have a big meeting or when your kids have a weekend full of baseball practices.  That being said, if you look at your calendar and find yourself making excuses for every few days, JUST DO IT.  After the low comes the best all-time energy high you have probably experienced in your entire life.  I swear, I think my eyes were even bigger!  Everyone began complimenting me -- did I lose weight? did I change my hair?  I just took the things my body saw as poisons out of my body!

3.  As far as pasta is concerned, brown rice pastas are the best.  They hold their texture and really hold up to overcooking.  The first time I made baked macaroni without wheat pasta, I tried a mostly-corn pasta.  I cooked it according to the directions, and it was a little soggy.  However, once I added the rest of the ingredients, it didn't hold up.  I was left with a wet pasta mush at the bottom of the dish with too-thick sauce along the top.  It was gross.  I eventually tried again with a brown rice pasta, and it was perfect.  I couldn't tell the difference between it and the wheat version.

4.  In the first part of my gluten-free facts, I mentioned that it's better to make your own sauces.  Honestly, if you have the time, it will always pay off to make any of your own gluten-free foods than to buy them.  I'd say the exception is probably bread because baking bread is not something everyone enjoys or can do.  I don't say that to be offensive.  My first loaf of gluten-free bread was a gluey mess. It made me not want to try again.

5.  Gluten affects everyone differently, not just those with gluten allergies/intolerances and not.  I need things to be handled carefully, using different utensils for my food and to make sure they don't touch.  I need precautions with things that you might never even consider -- even though the crumbs fall through a toaster, all those gluteny crumbs are heating up all over your gluten-free bread!  If you're less sensitive, please be understanding to people who take more precautions than you do.  If you're more sensitive, please be understanding that not everyone has to jump through all the same hoops as you do.  Neither one is doing it to be belligerent, so please don't act as though you know what's best for someone else.

Chronically Me . . . and you . . . and you

Visit chronicallyme.com for more

I usually try to focus on the positive aspects (I hear you snorting already) of having digestive conditions.  Sometimes, though, you just get touched that someone else knows exactly what crap you are dealing with everyday.  This comic is PERFECT.  CB always comments -- though he generally forgets by morning -- that, as soon as I get comfortable in bed, I'm up and down to the bathroom.  It's as though my body thinks it has free reign once gravity isn't such an issue anymore.

The biggest "positive" I always keep in mind is that I'm far more in tune with my body than I ever have been.  This is coming from the girl who would always go to the doctor with "I think I have X." "No, no," says Doctor, "I'm sure it's not."  And, lo and behold, it was always X!  Once my IBS started up in earnest, I never really knew what my body was trying to tell me.

I remember last year, a week after all my tests had been done, after all the scopes had been up or down their respective routes, phoning my doctor to ask how long I needed to take the prescribed medicine.  The answer wasn't sugar-coated: "The rest of your life."

The pills in question turned me into a zombie.  I was prescribed 8 of them a day -- 2 when I woke, 2 at lunch, 2 at dinner, and 2 at bed time.  I don't think anyone quite believed me when I said I didn't have the energy to get up to get myself a glass of water.  All I could do was lie there.  It hurt to be hungry, but it hurt to eat.  My mother actually, unfortunately, experienced what I meant when she was prescribed the same pills.  She was told to have 3 a day -- not 8, like me -- and, after the first dose, she felt like she was moving in slow motion and didn't even have the energy to finish her dinner.  She couldn't follow a conversation. (If you're wondering, yes, I did get the gift of gab from her, so it was a particularly difficult time!)  She told her doctor that she would only take them on very bad days.

I finally went to my GP and explained that I could not live like a zombie anymore. We tried another tablet.  I didn't feel like a zombie, but I didn't feel any relief, either.  Another, some relief.  It got rid of the more dull achy pains, but I still had the stabby ones that have dropped me to the floor at times.  Finally, they decided to pair it with an anti-anxiety pill.  Sweet relief!  It got rid of most of the pain!

There was a trade-off, though.  Every day, regardless of how I was feeling, my stomach was swollen.  I was used to swelling off and on, but this was constant.  I was worn out.  I also began to realise that I didn't know what my body was telling me anymore.  I'm sore, but why?  Was it food?  Was it exercise?  Was I simply overly tired?  Was it -- gasp! -- just that time of that day, and it was just going to happen?

I made one of Sydney's Patented Executive Life Decisions and weaned myself off all of my pills.  Are they helpful? Sure, but they don't actually make me any better.  In the long run, they weren't doing anything.  They were making me temporarily more comfortable but also more complacent.  I can tolerate pain.  I can recognise it, acknowledge it, and file it away.  It can frustrate me, but it rarely stops me.

I've been doing remarkably well.  Do I have pains?  Yep, but I think about them less because they are not a worry; they are what they are.  Do I still swell?  Yep, I am still six months fake-pregnant on some days.  Do I have more energy?  On most days, I think I do.  I still get worn down, perhaps a bit easier at times, but I feel like my body is saying You can do it rather than You know, you probably shouldn't.  And, that's the other thing: I can hear what my body is saying.  You could do without eating that food again.  You overdid it on the lifting boxes.  What makes you think you can pull more than your own weight? And, perhaps the most important thing it tells me.  Calm down; you need a rest, but you'll be stronger tomorrow.

I am listening again.

Best Friends Forever

We are finally settling into the new house, just in time for everything to go topsy-turvy pretty soon.  I'm having what I refer to as my "nose job" in 11 days.  I know, I know, I can hear you already. "But, Sydney! You have the perfect nose! You have the nose every girl dreams about when she thinks of her fairy tale future!  Tons of women take pictures of you when they go to have nose jobs!"  Well, you can calm down.  It's okay.  The outside of my nose shouldn't change at all.

It's the inside that is getting a makeover!  Ever since I was very tiny (Mum, care to chime in with specifics?), I've had chronic sinusitis and difficulty breathing at even the best of times.  Well, sometime last year (I'm being coy.  I know exactly when.), my nose stopped and never started again.  Antibiotic after antibiotic (which I hate -- almost as much as excessive parenthetical comments!), nasal spray after nasal spray, nothing.  Doctors, scans, doctors not calling back, unfruitful follow-ups, and finally!  Someone decides that something needs to be done!  So, in 11 days, I'll be having three procedures inside my nose -- 1) removing two bits of bone that are making passageways too narrow; 2) realigning my party wall, which meets the bottom of my nose in exactly the right place but bends in the middle; 3) cauterizing the lumpy lining of my nostrils that prevents anything from draining down the right paths.  You see why I just say I'm having a nose job?!

One of the most exciting things about my nose job is: If you think Sydney Likes Food now, just wait until she can actually taste it!

Regardless, the house is coming together beautifully, if slowly.  I've been cooking, but it's been mainly old standbys that don't take too long.  We're still acclimating to the schedule change; CB has never had a full time job!  He did do his PhD, which was definitely more than a full time job, but it typically involved him hunching over a desk in his home office/spare room/chinchilla abode.  This job requires him to be out of the house for more than 10 hours a day, and I have to figure out what to do with myself in the empty space.  (If I'm honest, it's mostly academic for me, now, too.  I should be grading papers right now.)  I did make one new meal that was delicious, but the texture needs a little tweaking, as does my understanding of the new ovens.  I'm going to give it a shot again this week, so, if all goes well, I'll photograph and properly document it here soon.

Ah, yes, but the title of the post.  I have a new kitchen friend.  I feel like I have known this friend forever because of how long I have wanted -- nay, needed! -- it amongst my tools.  I will never let it go.  We will make so many yummy things together.  You just wait.

Meet Ruby: